Posted on: August 12, 2013 Posted by: Felicia S. C. Gooden Comments: 1

Love and Marriage. They seem to go hand in hand, but do they really? One definition of marriage – paraphrased from Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary – is the state of being united to a person of the opposite or same sex as husband or wife (or applicable titles) in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law. Although marriage should equal love, love does not always equal marriage – at least this is what I hear – but there may be something to it.
We can fall completely and hopelessly in love with a person and not ever need to be married to that person. Sometimes, we can fall in love with a married person or be that married person that falls in love with someone else. When situations like these arise, we must then assess what is the true use of formal marriage as it pertains to our human experience. In some cultures, marriages are contracts between families – often the daughter is married off as some sort of promise or collateral to the family of the groom. In mainstream America, marriage is supposed to be a contractual union between two persons that binds them together for better or worse under the blessings of God, The Cosmic. Now it seems that marriage is nothing more than a business deal between two people that want to share assets – or one wanting to ensure claim to the other’s.
In America it seems that two people fall in love and want to spend the rest of their days with one another, so logically they get married, but behind the scenes there is that truth that it’s a contract recognized by law, and in the end, it determines one’s rights to his or her counterpart’s wealth and so on. It’s a legal commitment to be upheld within one’s home and the courts to remain true to one another and raise a proper family – under the morals of God and man-made law. We often get so caught up in making sure all the paperwork is correct that we forget why there was even the thought of getting married – unconditional love. But what is unconditional love?
Unconditional love knows no boundaries and needs to contract. Unconditional love cares not if the person of interest is already married, and it surely doesn’t care if one is already married oneself. Unconditional love is what the 60 year marriages of old couples we see are made of. Unconditional love is what keeps the bond fresh and meaningful – it makes life worth living. But unconditional love, as stated, needs no contract and knows not of the existence. One can be fully committed and in love with his or her family, and still manage to find the love of his or her life – or one of many loves. Is it really fair to say that we should only fall completely in love with one person, get married, and never fall in love again?
If a person is totally loyal in nature, and one’s love stream is just as focused, then it can be logically concluded that this person should get married to that one person he or she feels unconditional love for that will never wear thin. And yet, even this person can become caught in a bind – even a love triangle.
Mystics and New Agers all state that we are all one, and the highest vibration we should all strive to be at is divine, unconditional love. A love so powerful, raw, and pure should never be inhibited, and yet, we allow society to condition us to believe that we can only love and be with one person in this way. Yes, we have the openly polygamist cultures where men can have many wives, but where can wives have many husbands – actively? If we really want to open the floodgate of unconditional love being practiced openly and responsibly with care and caution for health and emotions, then is there really a need for one-on-one contractual marriage at all?
If one seeks to leave one’s assets to those he or she loves, then one should have legal paperwork no further than a will that clearly states where what goes and to whom. Legal marriage these days, can cause more problems than it solves. We are in the midst of a paradigm shift where all of humanity is reevaluating how we live and love on a daily basis. We should be able to live and love freely, without having to keep secrets. We should be able to embrace the oneness that we are in total and complete unconditional love. What I think is most important is that we should not be afraid to love, to love freely, and to love endlessly. We need to break away from the desire to own one another and stake claim to each other as if we are each other’s property.
The biggest issue that comes up in relationships and marriage is the need to feel like we are one with another person and that person is “ours”. It’s like we need to own the person, when we really need to become more secure and own ourselves. We can have strong, long-lasting bonds of unconditional love that co-exist on various levels. With clear and effective – and honest – communication, relationships of all kinds can grow to have meaning and depth that has been virtually untouched and unexperienced in recent human history. With love, respect, honesty, and cooperation we all can coexist and raise large families based on the principles of unconditional love and community.
If I am in love with one man and have a close bond with another, while they both completely love me, there can be a unified balance in the whole situation with communication, understanding, and unconditional love. How confident are we in our own skin that we don’t feel the need to own another person? How can we love unconditionally without a contract? How can we become advocates of unconditional love and pioneer a new paradigm of love and relationships? My preferred definition of marriage per Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary is this: an intimate or close union. As it pertains to human experience, marriage should be spiritual and alchemical – the divine union of souls. In the end, we are all married to one another by virtue of divine oneness – brothers, sisters, and lovers of humanity. Each individual relationship will manifest and grow as it should, and we should move away from allowing the views and opinions of others, religion, man-made laws, and paperwork to tell us what relationships to have and how to have them. Our intuition will alert us as to what is best for us, and we must learn to listen to The Master Within.
I am one with you, and you are one with me; therefore, I love you unconditionally.
So Mote It Be!
loveandmarriage

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