Posted on: May 28, 2012 Posted by: Felicia S. C. Gooden Comments: 1

Each and every person that we have a romantic experience with is not only a test of our own ability to love others, but also a test of our ability to truly love ourselves. Each person we tend to “fall for” usually reflects various qualities of our Selves that we like:  a sense of humor, physical beauty, career choice, financial status, intellect and so on. We base our “qualifications” of our potential lovers on the same qualities that we like about our Selves. What makes the love experience interesting, and often devastating, is that we tend to focus so much on how our parters mirror the things about us that we like, that we freak out when they reflect the things about ourselves that we don’t like. These panic attacks lead to petty arguments, false accusations and the ultimate dreaded act of infidelity.
Seriously? We can’t handle dealing with ourselves to the point that we end up treating our alleged “loved ones” like doormats? We are so consumed in finding the perfect mirror reflection of what we like about ourselves, that we often use people to escape the reality of who we truly are, and when our counterparts begin to reflect the facets of us that we don’t want to face, we run, panic or fight.
I’ve learned that true love for others begins with true love for the Self. It seems a bit cliche’, but the fact that true love and happiness starts within is a universal truth that cannot be overlooked. As I have come to accept and love my Self for all that I am, I have found a peace within myself that I have never known before. I often find that I am much happier alone, as there are so many individuals in the world that need to find acceptance and love for themselves. And I am quite content with being with my Self until The Cosmic, along with the energy that I put into The Universe, brings me the life partner that can truly compliment and complete me.
Attempt to take some time to reflect on these ideals and questions:

  • Who am I? No, really, in real life.
  • What do I truly want in life and love?
  • If we attract what we are, then what am I attracting to myself right now?
  • Can I truly say that I love myself: good, bad and very ugly?
  • Honestly, with no excuses, am I holding any grudges? Why am I holding on to such negativity?
  • Am I bitter and punishing others for past heartbreaks?
  • Am I one of those people that I often talk about and do my best to not be one of?
  • Everything that we put out comes back to us, including energy and actions. What energy am I putting into The Universe right now?
  • We should always pay attention to and be aware of how we react to people; never avoid an opportunity to confront the Selves that we no longer want to be.

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