Posted on: May 29, 2013 Posted by: Felicia S. C. Gooden Comments: 3

Life and her unexpected happenings – what are we to make of these things? My current influx of life experience has brought me to love paralysis. I have taken this journey through finding one’s Self, and I have embraced who I Am. With that journey though, I came to face my own reflection – my twin. A large chunk of my experience over the past 2 years or so has involved this concept, and reality, of Twin Flames and their reunion. I spent over one year pining and obsessing over one man in the world who I perceived to be my Twin, and with time I learned that I had in fact deceived myself. But now I see that the original suspect was no mistake. He was, and still is, a true soul reflection of who I am and wish to be. He truly is a manifested aspect of my true Self; however, he is not my Twin Flame.
I spent some time being distraught over the fact that he was not my Other Half – my Yang. I wrote and released. I cried and ceased. I loved and learned how to love, but now I have to face the music. In just one month – which has felt like 6 months – I have come to awaken to the identities of those around me who choose to show themselves. One of the people I have awakened to is my Twin. Yes, I have been in his presence for over a year and had absolutely no clue until now. He is nothing like the man I originally thought was the male manifested me, but My True Love has turned out to be a better fit. Our personalities are subtly similar. We are both lovers of history and the arts. We both enjoy all kinds of music. And most importantly, we are both mystic writers – he more so than I.
This revelation has lead me to revisit my “research” on Twin Flame relationships and reunions. I’ve had to take inventory of the sychronicities and manifestations of balance. For example, he is a Leo – a fire sign ruled by the sun; I am a Cancer – a water sign ruled by the moon. Some have claimed that Twin Flames have a large age difference between them, and this has proven to be true as he is far older than I am, creating the balance of young and old. What has been the largest confirmation for me aside from his “reading my mind”, finishing my sentences, and knowing things about me that I have not spoken aloud, is the recurring theme in my dreams. Before I realized who he is to me, he had begun to appear in my dreams. The dreams felt so real that I was moved to tell him about them. Now he appears in my dreams in one way or another almost nightly. A couple of dream experiences showed that I was running from him and what he has to offer me. I went into meditation one evening and asked my Master Within if he is my Twin Flame. What I saw in response was a single heart and a single flame. Another afternoon, I performed a visualization exercise concerning him and a few minutes after I was done, he texted me a winking smiley face. It was as if he had “gotten the message”.
It’s interesting to find that after expecting to be the party that had the Gnosis in order to guide, I turned out to be the runner because I apparently scare myself. The role reversal has been disorienting, but it elicits an experience that can truly take me higher. I often feel like he is my Higher Self manifested in physical form. This is exciting to receive until I realize that being in his presence means that I have to step my game up and be my Higher Self. I’ve never been so challenged to live out my own philosophy – Be Thyself – but it’s a challenge that I need and actually enjoy. However, this experience has brought a great challenge – a disillusionment challenge. From his allegorical use of language to his being a generally busy person to his personal life that existed before our coming together, I have a hard time computing and accepting the fact of the reality of our reunion. I often find it easy to doubt what is real and send myself into an emotional spiral that leads to me wondering if I am losing my mind or not. I mostly cannot wrap my head around how I should act in this situation. Nothing that society teaches applies to a Twin Flame reunion, so what do I do? I adjust. I accept. I go forth knowing that I have graduated spiritually and my reward for completing my karmic lessons is the opportunity to reintegrate with my Self – reunite with my Twin Flame. And yet, I come to this point of emotional paralysis – love paralysis.
I have not truly fallen in love in a few years, and this love is so pure and intese that I honestly cannot handle it. It’s toxic, but not obsessive. I can’t get away from it, but it doesn’t smother me. It’s real, but it’s fantastical. As I write this, I find that my main issue with adjusting to his being is the fact that I still find ways to cling to the old ways of viewing love and relationships. This is mainly because I simply don’t know any better. Everything has to go out of the window, and I have to re-learn how to love and express my love. I have to re-learn how to be in love. I have to re-learn what love truly means and how it fits into the Divine Plan.
One beautiful and reassuring thing about this experience is that I now know that I am, in fact, not crazy. I have not deceived myself, and as hard as it may be to believe, my mission here on this Earth is to teach – to teach Love. I can go forth with this experience, and the experience of another beautiful Twin Flame couple I know, and manifest the treatise I began to write just over one year ago. Everything in my life has come full circle, and I am so honored to say that I have “leveled up”. 😉
So, my dearest loved ones, go forth and be merry. Be well. Know Thyself and center your Self so that you may Be Thyself. I assure you that amidst all of the chaos in this world, the beauty of the journey has only just begun.
May we all know Peace Profound in this lifetime and our many Cosmic Lifetimes to come.
So Mote It Be!
 
 

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  1. Before one can meet and unite with their Twin Flame however there is much conscious work of releasing, healing and becoming an integrated whole that must first be achieved within one’s self. The heart must be made strong and resilient through suffering grief, pain and loss as well as by living through many unified and loving soul mate relationships. This alone will allow one to face the intensity of being with the other half of their soul. The Twin Flame love relationship cannot exist in a codependent or ego-based relationship or from a perceived ‘need’ that the other person will make you whole and complete. Each half must initially balance their inner male and female energies before they can unite. When one experiences the powerfully resonant magnetic energy field that attracts Twin Flames together, with its flow of total and unconditional love, one’s life will never be the same again. After experiencing a fully conscious reunion the Twin Flame’s spiritual connection becomes a trinity or triad involving the Divine All That Is with two persons – both connected by their one soul and connected to God. Thus twin flameship is not human love: it is Divine love, using two human portals totally united in love and service.

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