Posted on: December 2, 2013 Posted by: Felicia S. C. Gooden Comments: 1

knowthyselfHoliday Season 2013. The egg nog is poured, the Thanksgiving leftovers are dwindling down, and now we all prepare for Christmas and soon thereafter, New Year’s. Many of us go into the new year with the progressive mindset, “New Year, New Me.” This seems all well and good, but how many of us truly live up to that mantra? So often we see Facebook statuses and Tweets preaching the “New Year, New Me” message just for those same people to not change a single thing about themselves – a New Year and an Old Me – but there’s something to this mantra that we could truly take heed to – the opportunity to start anew.
For me the past month and a half or so has been transformative to say the least. I’ve endured a death in the family accompanied by a last minute trip to New York, changes in my living space and even sudden changes in my personal life. It’s as if The Cosmic finally said, “Enough!” and threw me into a whirlwind of change and evolvement. This is a time that took me deeply within and taught me a lot about who I truly am – or was. I found truth about my own ancestry – learning that I am more than what I think I am. I found an abundance of insecurity – learning that I truly believed that I could never be more than what I am. I found a spark of light – learning that there is more to come. I found that there is yet and still another version of my true Self to be known – learning that the time has come.
I found myself realizing that I had absolutely no clue who I really was. I was more lost than found no matter how much I learned about life and The Cosmos. I found that part of our quest for this Higher Knowledge is a yearning to no longer feel so alienated – to understand why we tend to find ourselves in situations in which we just don’t belong. We go through our lives inventing and reinventing ourselves seeking our own inner satisfaction, but then we can still feel empty. We find ourselves trying to achieve feats that don’t really align with who we truly are. My experience has brought me to a new point of illumination – the point of knowing how much I don’t know. The knowledge of the world and The Cosmos is present, but the gnosis of the Self is only beginning to unravel.
So while others find themselves through exploring the mysteries of The Universe – many experiencing orgasmic moments of joy through explaining the laws of astrophysics, karma, and quoting ancient philosophers –  I am going to indulge in exploration of the microcosm, my Self. I seek to further explore the potential of my true being – the person I’ve been to afraid to be. The person that for so long I felt life did its very best to hide from me through various repressive experiences. This is a reinvention of truth. A Reinvention of me. A Reinvention of My Self.

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