Posted on: October 14, 2011 Posted by: Felicia S. C. Gooden Comments: 2

Love. Love is the most complicated emotion that we all experience. Love is not to be sought, it is to be felt. However, many of us spend our whole lives trying to “find” that perfect love. Why is that? We drive ourselves insane trying to figure out “what we want”. We boggle our minds with thoughts of what the “perfect” man or woman is. We forget to accept that we are all human beings. We are perfectly equal, and perfectly imperfect. We must allow ourselves to love one another genuinely. We should love each other for who we are as individuals. We too often love with our minds, and this is one of the main causes of failure in relationships.
I have been in and out of love. I have loved many. I have been hurt many times. I have allowed myself to look for loved based upon what my peers and parental unit would feel is suitable. I usually failed in pleasing one or the other, and ultimately I failed in pleasing myself. I cannot say that there has never been a time in which I was unfaithful, nor will I blame all of my heart ache on the other parties. The failure of my relationships came from a failure on both parties. I have lied; others have lied. I have cheated; others have cheated. I have lacked communication; others have lacked communication. I have mislead and deceived, and I have been deceived. These experiences usually came from my mind being closed and my heart being open. I wanted love. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to love someone else. But I also wanted validation from those close to me. I wanted my friends to praise what I had, I wanted my mother to be approving. I did not realise that my love was only supposed to please me. No one else.
I have also spent a bit of my love life being too open. I have allowed myself to love for the sake of loving. I have taken my hopeless romanticism to a point where I loved almost anyone, simply because that person was open to loving me as well. This was a huge back fire. As I think about it, I feel like I was desperate. I have let people in and been used. I have been abused. My mind has been played with and my heart damaged in the name of selfish agendas. I have allowed some to receive the honest and pure love that comes from me, just for them to take my love and use it against me. I did not want the spiritual connection. I wanted the physical and emotional connection. I wanted to feel good in my mind and my body, but I let my spirit suffer in the end. I allowed sexual encounters lead me down a road to nowhere and a black hole. A black hole in my heart.
Now, times have changed. From my own experiences and observations of others, I have concluded that love is about the spiritual connection between two people. Love is to be felt, not forced. Love is to be experienced, not examined. We too often think about what love is supposed to be instead of allowing love to just be. We don’t allow ourselves to love, we make ourselves love. We feel that if someone does the world for us, we are obligated to feel some kind of way for that person. I have met a person that is successful, has celebrity connects, willing to cook for me, willing to drive across the city just to spend some time with me, and I still do not love this person. The connection is simply not there. Some superficial people would say that I am crazy for not giving this person a chance, but the spiritual and physical and emotional connections are just not there. He is definitely worthy of being a great friend, but the love interest is simply non- existent and I cannot force it to be.
We have to be satisfied with ourselves and love ourselves enough to not settle for what we think love should be. We should simply wait for the right spirit to come into our lives and embrace us. We must be patient, yet open minded. Do not classify people. Have an open mind and heart; however, still be willing to say “no”, not only to what is not wanted, but also to what is not needed. Walk in the light of The Truth, and the Love in that same Light.

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